While still grieving both my parents, I am aware that life goes on all around me. Being well into my 40s means that a lot of my friends are too, and they are starting to (or are already experiencing) deal with aging parents and the myriad of issues, concerns, and problems that go along with it.

When my Dad suffered his stroke, 8 years ago, and I wasn’t yet sure if he would make it, and my mother in law’s breast cancer had returned during the same timeframe,  I had a long talk with my friend Toni. Toni is older than me by about 15 years, and had already been through the death of her parents. She is very spiritual, and I remember to this day when she told me that, perhaps everything I was going through with my Dad was to prepare me for when we would have to say goodbye to my mother in law. Of course, she was right. Sometimes the only lesson I can find in my grief, is that I will be able to help someone else going through the same thing. Either by showing up physically, or showing up electronically.

Showing up is what it’s all about, y’all. In this time of the ability to be “plugged in” and “connected” more than ever before, we are somehow more isolated and divided than ever before, ironically. We are all busy, of course, and it’s very easy to get wrapped up in our own lives, problems, and stresses. But the great gift of the last 18 months is that so many people I love showed up for me. Whether it was a physical act, like my best friend (since sophomore year in high school) driving my mom to her chemo (and then subsequently instead having to drive her to the hospital for an emergency blood transfusion), or an electronic act of a “random” text 5 weeks after my mom’s funeral “just checking on you…heard this song and it made me think of you”, the effect is exactly the same.

One of my oldest and dearest and best-est, M, is going through a similar season right now. I called her last night and even though we talked for only 5 minutes, I know it mattered to both of us. The first thing I did this morning was to text her. Early mornings and late nights can be the hardest, in this season. I pray that, if you find yourself in a situation like ours, you too will be able to receive the blessings and reciprocate that energy back into the universe. It always returns to you. Promise.

Love you. Mean it.